Here’s another reason why I believe that the term “toxic masculinity” is a bogus term.
Many times, you have a situation, which almost no one talks about and is too often ignored- female bullying against male targets and why society gives male targets a bum rap.
I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and heard about males being harassed and abused by vicious females…boys and young men, who are, under normal circumstances, kind and caring but only pushed too far by their female tormentors before they finally have enough and strike back to defend themselves.
Unfortunately, after having been bullied for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point. The poor guy finally decides that enough is enough and hits the girl back after she hits him first. As a result, HE gets the blame simply because he is a male.
Because the girl knows very well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that females are the weaker sex, she uses it to her own advantage by playing the “woman card” and feigning victimhood- complete with crocodile tears, rationalization and projecting blame onto her victim.
The conniving and cunning female also deceives by acting sweet and innocent in the presence of the right people. She is silver-tongued. Therefore, she is a pro at spinning a convincing story to deceive authority while demonizing her male target, all to avoid being held responsible.
Although the poor target is actually a great guy with good morals, values, and ethics; to bystanders and authority, he is just another punk, who goes around beating up on girls/women. He ends up either being suspended/expelled from school, or arrested and charged as a criminal, while his female bully looks on with a smirk of gratification on her face. She then escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. Thus, the cycle continues.
If the young man didn’t hit her back, but only restrained her to protect himself, he would still be dehumanized and punished because he simply laid hands on her. Yes. You read this correctly…if someone physically attacks you and you restrain them, you can STILL go to jail- just as if you delivered the first punch because your hands were touching the person. It is impossible to restrain anyone without touching them.
This is just a sad example of how completely backward school rules and the laws in this country really are.
Here’s a second catch 22:
A young man is being bullied relentlessly at school by a girl or group of girls. The girl(s)harass this boy for a number of years and during this time, the other boys also laugh and make fun of him because he is the bigger person and walks away instead of fighting back. They feminize him by calling him names, such as “wuss”, “wimp”, “pussy”, “bitch-boy” and other names which attack the male pride and strip away any masculinity.
The poor guy then reports the bullying only to be told to “man up” or “toughen up” and the boys only further shame him for being a “whiner”, “crybaby” or “tattle tale”.
Then, the young boy finally gets sick of the mistreatment and he snaps on one of the girls, battering her until her lip and nose are bleeding. Now, all hell breaks loose!
The target goes from being seen as a wimp to being viewed as a little punk who gets his jollies by beating up on females. He can’t win no matter which way he turns! He is suspended, expelled, or arrested for assault and battery. Also, the boys now want to jump him because he hit a girl.
The poor young man, although a victim, is now marginalized by the system, which is supposed to protect him.
So what other recourse does he have after having tried everything to protect himself and make the harassment stop?
My purpose is to open a few eyes and let society know that boys DO get bullied by girls…that more and more men get bullied by women. I believe this is because females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history, due to the significant moral decline of girls, which has taken place in the last 30 years.
However, understand that this article does not apply to male bullies, who go around physically or psychologically harming females but only to innocent male victims, who only want to be left in peace and live a normal life like everyone else.
If two men are at odds with each other and they resort to fisticuffs, they usually end up later patching things up, then going somewhere to have a beer together. Not so with women. If two women get into an altercation, chances are that they will not let go of their hatred of each other. A woman is like a dog with a bone. She will cling tightly to her grudge against her rival until the heavens come crashing down.
In closing, I will tell you that women are not always the weaker sex. I’m a woman myself and I know first hand that when it comes to evil, women, and girls can be the meanest, most disgusting, most relentless, most deplorable, and most vicious of the sexes! In most cases of bullying and harassment by the opposite sex, victims who are male get a bum rap! This has to be brought to light!
It’s high time that we wise up, rip the fake mask off these vicious shrews and expose their misdeeds to as many people as possible in order to decrease the chances of other innocent men and boys becoming targets in the future.
Because, believe it or not, not all girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.
0 thoughts on “The Catch 22 Almost No One Talks About (I Wonder Why?)”
So true ….. I am watching TWO active cases unfold in my own family! Very sad!
I’m so sorry. My heart goes out to all involved 💔
…but not the bullies, of course. Sorry I.meant to add that.
Yes, as the mother to a now man with an old soul, I’ve seen this in action. He did his best in school to walk away from a fight, and flat out refused to strike a girl. The only time I know of him getting fed up, he splashed a female attacker with a drink. She then attacked him beating him about the face. For once, the school was not fully “your son did this” the girl ended up being suspended for two weeks while my son was not. I know, from articles read, that this situation is a very real one that many males face in tormented silence.
Absolutely they do, Rebecca. I’m so glad your son got his justice and that the school put it to right. That only happens rarely and it’s sad.
True. Usually no matter how many students stood behind him when ever there was an incident he was immediately blamed and punished even when he was not the one in the wrong.
I understand sweetie. Most targets are blamed. I’ve found that many times, it’s not about who’s doing the wrong, it’s about who has the least power amd often is the case when people will blame the person who has the least power. They find a scapegoat.
Yes. And that principle had the power. I do my best to never hate anyone, he came the closest to earning that simply because of his actions and treatment of my son. And even though he will never know, in the end my son proved himself with his educational accomplishments and job.
Absolutely, Rebecca. It does have power. But I’m so glad your son persevered and overcame. God bless him and you. 🙏❤
Thank you so much. And thank you for what you are doing here, I know that you are helping many through their own struggles.
It’s my pleasure, Rebecca. 😊
Cherie, this truly exists albeit surprising to many. I’ve seen such bulliness depicted in some movies where girls are the ones bullying and the boys are the victims. Sadly, I don’t care who the bullying is coming from and at what age range it is in, bullying is downright wrong, I don’t care who it’s coming from. Good post girlfriend!!! 👏🏼💐🙏🏼
Thank you so much, Kym. I don’t think most people are surprised. They know but either they refuse to talk about it, or they’re too afraid to. It’s not “politically correct.” And I think being P.C. is going to be the downfall of society. P.C. actually promotes bullying.
Absolutely correct. Only in theory PC is a solution for those many problems in our socities.
You said that perfectly! 👍
Call it as you see it Cherie. When something is WRONG there’s nothing CORRECT about it. When something hurts and abuses others there is nothing right about that. 😡 Continue, as I’ve told you before, to speak your truth. When you do it to enlighten people about situations like this, what is in the dark will come to light. You’re making a different. Don’t stop! 😊👏🏼🤗💖
You’re got that right, Kym. There’s nothing correct about wrong. And I’ll speak out about it until the day they haul me away in a hearse. 🎯
Girl Cherie, that is true commitment, dedication, and passion-driven! I love that! Cheers! 🥂🙏🏼✨
Cheers to you too, sweetie! 🥂
Absolutely it is, Vartika. And people are sick of it. I have sons and I hope to goodness they don’t fall victim.
As a private investigator for 8 years, I oftened witnessed or dealt with this on cases. Gaslighting turned to controlling and then physical. It works both ways but your easy to understand style of writing provides good examples.
Thank you so much, Texas Jack. There’s so much people don’t think about and sometimes you have to do a deep dive in order to get to the truth.
Again you hit a point with this contributions, a fact that is largely hidden from the public eye.
I am also familiar with similar situations from my circle of friends.
Woman wants to argue around because it is a kind of pleasure experience for her, man avoiding this, got tired of that. Woman feels offended by him not reacting and provokes a violent argument …
Years ago I followed a discussion by well-known women in which men were branded as quarreling grouches. And that wass the case with the examples that I know.
Absolutely. And unfortunately, that happens a lot. Even no response provokes these women to argue because they take no response as disagreement. You can’t even disengage and get away from it.
Wow, if this isn’t a sign. I’m actually speaking today regarding DV. The twist is I’m feeling a bit of anxiety because I was the abuser unlike the women I’ll be speaking to who were abused. Many have said it shows courage taking accountability for my actions, but I share because I know now that I was wrong.
Wow! You have my utmost respect and I admire your strength and courage. What you’re doing is rare- as most abusers never change and live their lives in denial. But you’re living proof that they CAN change and become better people and my hat comes off to you. Keep speaking out because you’re going to help so many people! Wishing you many blessings. ❤🙏🌹
But see I respect the fact you own it and have changed it. Sometimes we say or do bad things but every day God gives us another chance to change which you have clearly done. I respect that. Forgive yourself
I agree. God gives us chance after chance and you’ve taken the chance He gave you. And He has forgiven you. And I’m sure you have forgiven yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be speaking so openly about it. I admire you so much! 😊🤗
Thanks you very much my dear, I really appreciate it. blessings to you!
Interesting point of view!
Thank you, Benn. 😊
I will keep this in mind when I’m on the stage. Thanks my dear.
You’re most welcome. ❤
That’s really sad..Great that you have brought it to light..🙂
Thank you so much, AB! 😊❤
I want to thank you for this one. Any of us who have sons I think needed to hear this one. I think part of the problem when talking about bullying and the issues is no one wants to look at the big picture, they still want to compartmentalize it. Boys and girls, men and women BOTH can bully.
In fact, I think girls can be worse because of the Cantonese. And in terms of the physical stuff, there is a double standard. Look, males are IN GENERAL are stronger but the operative word is in general. An individual woman can be stronger than an individual man. I have seen it many times and been stronger than a few guys. So if the girl is stronger does the same standard apply? Still no because HE gets labeled. Or even if the guy is stronger if he is raised not to defend himself against a female which means he can be hurt too.
This isn’t popular I know but I am a believer every one has a right to defend themself as needed. Look any of you guys reading this that disagree, I respect your chivalry but you don’t deserve a beating or injury either. My take is I better not ever find out my son initiated attacking/bullying a girl but if she initates and assaults him defend yourself. Self defense doesn’t make you a bad person. And usually the one crying victim in a situation like that is whoever came up on the losing end. Novel concept, keep your hands to yourself.
Absolutely! We should teach our sons not to bully girls but we should also teach our daughters that males have rights and feelings too and that they shouldn’t be bullied either. Special treatment for none!
Exactly. There lies the problem. We seem to turn everything into male issues, female issues, black issues, white issues….All these things are PEOPLE issues. I feel for men because they ate often discriminated against. Not all men are strong or tough. Some are sensitive, physically weak, whatever and that’s okay. Just like not every woman is emotional, physically weak, sensitive etc. Never speak or generalize for an entire gender, race, or religion. People need to start looking at the individual.
“These are PEOPLE issues! Awesome point!
“People need to start looking at the individual.” – SLAM DUNK!
Lol, dang spellcheck! I didn’t mean Cantonese, I mean cattiness! Lol
Ahahahaha! 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂 I understand. 😁
This happened to me quite a lot, to the point where my mother said I could hit a girl if it got that bad. However, thinking back to an instance when I was 14, I could have been charged with indecent assault or even attempted rape. A girl tried to beat me up just to show off, so I pinned her down and laid on top of her. One of her friends yelled out, “It looks like he’s trying f**k you!” That was enough to defuse things. When I think about it, I could have been arrested and my life ruined when all I was trying to do was defend myself.
I completely understand! Bullies will use anything and turn it all against you. I’m so glad you overcome. If they could see you now, they’d be so pissed off that you didn’t live up to their expectations.
They would say they’re not bothered but we know otherwise.
You are so right and I thank you for bringing this subject to light.
You’re most welcome, Ms. Webb. Thank you for your wonderful comment. 😊❤
Hey girl. Still waiting on your email response, really curious about your thoughts
I promise I’ll get to it when I can. My husband and I are doing yard work because it rained last weekend and we didn’t get to mow and weed eat. The grass is a mile high. I’ll get to it.
Thank you. I understand. My yard is nothing to brag about lol. I hate hot weather.
You and me both. To tell you the truth, I’m kind of looking forward to Fall. Autumn is my favorite season. 💕
I just sent you a reply
Cherie You have another wonderful blog that hits home to me as I read through it all.
Thank you so much, James! 😊💖
You are welcome Cherie
Hello Cherie I have Nominated you for ” The Sunshine Blogger Award”. This is on my page now. Love ans support for you.
Thank you so much, James! I’m both honored and humbled. 😊
You are very welcome Cherie! 😊
I so much agree with this. The one thing I prayed for in my marriage was that my ex be more of the man but he never did and family and friends rode over us till we I had to stand up for myself.
Ironically, he also took offense to me standing up for myself and that led to my single parent status.
If I have to do a second trip down the aisle, he would hopefully be masculine enough to be the head of the home while I can strive for virtuous woman 😁😊🤭
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I’m sorry that it resulted in the destruction of your marriage. Know that I’m sending you lots of love and light. 💖