One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Many bullying targets are confused and mislead as to whether or not they are legitimately being bullied or only being paranoid.
Oftentimes, when an individual is bullied, and they defend themselves, others may trivialize the bullying or dismiss it. They tell the target that “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just paranoid.” Half the time, people convince the target of the above statements, which only forces him to endure the torment in silence. Bullying cannot thrive without silence.
Therefore, the bully is let off the hook and is free to target the same individual again in the future. The bully gets the message loud and clear that it’s okay to target this person simply because they can – and with impunity.
After so long, the target feels as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. He then questions his own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.” and often grows silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “paranoid,” “crazy,” “overly sensitive,” or other labels that undermine and steal his voice.
Let me enlighten you: It’s not only in your imagination. You are not overly sensitive. You are not a wimp, wuss, crybaby, crazy, or whatever else unsavory people may call you.
Always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good because your brain and gut will alert you!
You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.
You can see and hear them talking through their teeth.
You can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.
You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude.
This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!
Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you. It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good-looking, popular, successful, cool, or tough.
If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out! They are not worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological.
Kicked out fired flying people figures, vector illustration color cartoon, horizontal
Self-awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. You must get to know yourself. You must get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.
One aspect of bullying I experienced and which I think is utterly cowardly is when someone makes bullying comments just loud enough for you to hear it but when you confront them about it, make out that it’s all in your head and you are starting trouble.
Absolutely, it’s cowardly. That used to happen to me all the time. Thank goodness I didn’t let it silence me. I got bullied worse for opening my mouth but in the end, I felt a lot better about myself for speaking up.
Good post and so true. Emotional bullies are pros at gas-lighting and getting their victims to believe they are crazy. This furthers the shame spiral for a victim which allows for more bullying and so on. This happened to me. I truly began to believe the lies and it took years to change this mind-set. Thanks for spot-lighting this.
You’re so welcome, Megan. And don’t feel alone, sweetie. Bullies did the exact same thing to me and, like you, it took years for me to realize that none of what they did to me was my fault but was only proof of their own mental issues and lack of character.
Very wise.
Thank you so much, Jude. 🙂
Such a pleasure Cherie😇
trusting our gut is always right. nice write up Cherie💖
Thank you so much, Cindy. I had to learn this the hard way. Trial and error is so time consuming. Lol
but learn you have💖
Exactly! 😀
👏👏👏Cheers to that❣️
…but still worth it in the end.
This is very motivational but hugely impractical. You cannot control who is in the same chat room as you when you need to be in that chat room because it is the only chat room you have. Search engines are stupid so you can’t find a new chat room. The bullies own the system, they own your mind, so really–thank you for the courtesy, but consider pragmatics.