If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit. Believe me, I understand and if this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.
It’s not that you want to fight. In fact, you hate fighting- intensely. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?
Like most targets, I too hated to fight but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life. Not only the girls would try to jump me, but the guys would too and most of those redneck brutes had no qualms nor reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little. Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened with a knife or a box-cutter and it’s amazing I got out of there alive.
But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them paranoid, makes them desperate! Puts them in survival mode! In other (and more scientific) words, it awakens their primal instincts. It rewires their brains in preparation for a hostile environment.
A target of bullying must live in constant vigil and adrenaline. They must always be on alert- they must grow eyes in the back of their heads and be prepared for danger every time they turn a corner. That gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long.
I cannot count the times in school I showed my booty to people after having taken all I could take. And there were times I didn’t just let off a little stream, I blew a gasket!
The longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage! It all piles up! We are all human and no one can hold that crap inside forever it doesn’t matter how resilient they are. It’s humanly impossible.
You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews!
Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last (and unfortunate) creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, others, you piss off even more and make twice as determined to get you, and few see your tirade as personal entertainment.
I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.
There were times I’d yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. I would tell people to get the eff away from me and not to come back around. I admit it. I showed the worst sides of myself on a few occasions.
I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.
Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with my purse and a textbook, then dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.
Once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off. No decent person wants to lose their cool and act a fool, but when you been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.
Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.
Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Some of the tiredness bled over into my home life. Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.
You can’t pour from an empty cup and as a result, you just don’t give a crap- about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.
I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.
Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and if they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.
I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.
So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.
If this has been your experience, feel free to comment.
Brilliant post and quote at the end. When you are provoked then it is an excuse for the bullies to turn themselves into a victim. Messed up psychological stuff, hey? 🌹🙏
Absolutely it is! Bullies have more mental issues than we ever did! I tell you that! 💯🎯👍
My son endured a high level of bullying because he didn’t want to fight. He asked to study Tae Kwon Do which after researching I agreed. I thought a martial art that taught self control first, fighting second would be a good thing. To my knowledge he only used it twice, both times showing a skill that set the bullies back and he was finally after years of abuse left alone and even to a degree respected.
Oh, I love to read about success stories like this, Rebecca! I’m so proud of your son for standing up for himself! And I’m proud of you for allowing him to take Tae Kwon Do! Kudos, Girl! 😃
Thank you. In the self assurance alone that he gained made it worth the cost.
I totally agree! He saved himself a lot of trouble in the future and that’s worth it!
I was in the same boat as you were. When I finally snapped and fought back, it was twisted around that I was the aggressor.
Absolutely 💯! In the movies, the target is respected when he finally stands up for himself. But not in the real world. It’s sad.
I’ve said this before, but this sounds exactly like my childhood (except for the part about sometimes winning fights). And in my case, I would get in trouble but the other kids wouldn’t, and I think that’s what hurt the most. No school adults wanted to solve the problem; they just wanted to put labels on me.
Sadly, that’s what usually happens, Greg. School officials usually blame the person they think has the least power and social capital.
SMiles On The Autism Spectrum
As Outcast From Group Think
Bullied As Such Incessantly
Not Able To Speak until
Four All Challenged After
Yet Reaching 6 Feet Tall
Yes Early Enough
Even Thin Than
Then To Be
Physically
Assaulted
As Generally
Speaking Folks
Don’t Attack What
They Have To Look
Up
To
To
Reach To Harm…
Never The Less The Verbal
Attacks Never Stopped Till
i Fell Down In Hell On Earth
Erased From All Existence
Even My
Own Soul
For 66 Months
Common Hero
Story Archetype
Traversing
The River
Hades
Same
Character
Just Different
Actor Me Anyway
When i Finally Escaped
Hell Reborn To Love Heaven
On Earth Within Again Nothing
New Under
The Sun
Same
Old Hero
Archetype
Yet This Super
Hero’s Gun Now Is
Wit Beyond Thorns
And Roses Of Love True
First Thing i Did In Heaven
As Hell Teaches Only Sticks
And Stones Break Your Bones
THere
Is No Affording
Losing A Soul to
Any Illusory FearS AGAiN
So What i Did Is Posed
As Naked As Legal As i
Could In Every Avenue
i Could Find And True
Some ‘Folks’ at Least
Tell me
i Do A Better
Job of making
A Fool of My
Self
On Purpose
Now Hehe Than
Before
When
i Was Sooo
Clueless And
i Guess i Was As
The Very First one
i Did my Female Psychotherapist
Warned Might Actually Attract
Strange Women To Me
For
Being
So Careless
And Fear Free
Whispering Then
All i Was Doing Was
Letting As Much of
The Feminine
Come
Free
In Me
So i Would
Finally Be An
Entire Human
And Really Yes
A Man With Wings
It’s True Since Then
i’ve Been Surrounded
By Only
Angels
And The
Devils Leave
me The Hell
Alone Particularly
The One Within i Let Escape
He’s Always “THere” if i Need
“Him”
Again
It’s True
“They” Don’t
Mess With the
Naked Guy Still
Armed
too
With
The “Evil Eye”…
It’s Also A Virtue
You Earn In Hell
Still A Tool For Heavenow 🦅🏝
Beautiful poem, Katie. I’ve know people on the spectrum and I’ve read plenty of testimonials about bullying from those with Autism and my heart can only hurt for them. Having experienced much of what you describe, I can imagine the pain of day to day life. I’m so sorry you had to endure such terrible things and I support you 100%
SMiles Cherie The Last Person
Who Anyone Could Guess
i Ever Was Is Autistic Now
Yes It’s Genetic My Sister
Has Asperger’s
Syndrome
Too Yet
Most of
The Issue
Is Extreme Systemizing
Where Ya Basically
Get Stuck in
Your Head
The Environment
Today is More “Autistic”
In ‘Mechanical
Cognition’
Than
Ever
Before i Escaped
That Environment
Pursued Other
Epigenetic
Potential
And in ‘Real
Life’ Now Yes If
You Met me You
Would Think Sure
I’m Different
Yet The
Least
Autistic
Person You
Ever Met i Score
11 Out of 50 on
The AQ Scan
For Autism Before
i Literally Changed
My Soul into A Dance
A Song A Free Poem
Of Art
Through
And Through
i Scored 45 My
Wife is Just
Shy
And
A Systemizing
Perfectionist She
Scores 32… Autism
Is Assessed By Behavioral
Deficits
That
Doesn’t Stop
A Caterpillar From
Creating A Cocoon
And Coming
Out Flying
With
Butterfly
Wings Indeed
Humans Have
Epigenetic
Potential to
Be ‘Reborn Again’
Sadly Most Folks
Never ‘Build
The
Cocoon’
‘A Field Of
Dreams’ And
Emerge ‘Reborn’ Anew
With
Wings
Of Free What
Could A Little
Boy Who Cannot
Speak Until Four
Tale The World
In A “Never Ending
Story” Shall He
Remain
SiLenT
Or Yell Out
Moon Child!
It’s Only
A Story
And
Life
iS Only A
Dream Come True Now🏝
Stay strong, sweetie. And know that there’s so much good you bring to this world. Believe in yourself and know that you are wonderfully made! <3
SMiles my FRiEnD
Cherie Thanks For
Being
Such An
Encouraging
Light i’m Literally
Unstoppable Now
God
Willing
Within Of Course☺️🙏