Once a person suffers bullying for so long, changes in the brain occur- changes that aren’t good. Here are these changes:
1. The target becomes exhausted and loses the will to fight back. Being bullied is extremely tiring. Bullies know this and deliberately wear their victims down to take the fight out of them and wrest control over their lives.
Although at first, the target may defend themselves and fiercely assert their rights to human dignity and respect, most bullies don’t recognize any human rights but only see self-defense and protection as an affront to their power. They then only double down- intensify the hatred until they mentally and physically exhaust their target.
The target finally loses their will to fight back and acquiesces because he’s just worn slap out and no longer has the strength to fight anymore.
2. He loses the ability to recognize mistreatment. When we’re used to being treated well, we can more clearly see poor treatment and know the difference when it happens. But after so long of enduring bullying, the lines get blurred, and our eyes lose the ability to see aggression so clearly- especially if the hostility we face is subtle. We finally reach a point where we don’t recognize the bullying at all!
3. The target becomes conditioned to accept bad behavior from others. After so long, you come to believe what bullies tell you- that you’re a terrible person and that you somehow deserve to be treated shabbily.
These damaging self-beliefs happen after the bullies, their followers, and bystanders have repeatedly prevented you from defending and taking care of yourself. They have, for so long, drummed into your head that you are worthless, useless, evil, mentally unstable- take your pick. They repeat the same lies over and over until they force you to believe it too.
4. The target begins to punish himself. The victim does this by engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors. He may hang with the wrong people and befriend those who only tolerate them. Targeted girls may participate in risky sexual behavior or having relationships with abusive partners.
Understand that we must be vigilant to take care of our mental health and self-esteem if we want to avoid these results in the future. Make sure you have a friend outside of the bullying environment that you can talk to and that your family is supportive. Do things you enjoy and keep company with positive and uplifting people any time you’re away from the bullies.
Your goal is to balance the bullying you suffer by adding healthy and positive relationships and experiences outside the bullying environment. This balance will soften the blows to your self-esteem and provide a buffer to your bullies’ attacks.
Good points Cherie, I can remember when I was being bullied at college I complained to my mother she said I deserved it. So much for help on the home front. Weird I used to go to the dentist a lot to avoid going to college. My mother was a bully in the home and a coward outside or foreboding.
Wow! I’m so sorry you were bullied by someone who was supposed to love you. It especially hurts when it’s a parent who’s supposed to protect you.
It did but I learned how to deal with it.
I hear you. When we are in a situation we can’t control or get away from, we find ways to cope.
Bullying is evil. I was bullied as a child, teenager and as an adult. although I did not know it at the time that it was bullying. When I was bullied in high school as a teenager, it was because I got better grades than them so it didn’t bother me much, I simply took it that they were jealous, even adult bullies are often envious of what we have or have achieved but too evil to admit it. It might seem like child’s play but it can be detrimental to one’s health as you rightly listed above. What has helped me was my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ, otherwise I would have gone crazy. I admire the way you are bringing up these here. I believe many people are being helped, because there are many people of different faith who would benefit from the practical application of protecting themselves and their minds.
Thank you so much. And my heart goes out to you. I’m so glad that you saw the bullying for what it was, held on to your faith, and didn’t allow it to define who you are. You are a warrior! 🙂👏
I think the target loses self-esteem and often becomes withdrawn or changes their personality trying to compensate. That is why nipping it in the bud quick is so very important. Oh by the way I sent you an email. No questions this time just wanted to update you on a topic we were talking about.
You’re absolutely right. And thank you for your email. I’ll go check it. 🙂
Hey, no reason post this. I accidentally replied in the email in mostly caps .I am sorry lol. I was saying he will be fine. It is actually good for him, he has plenty of self esteem lol. I actually think a little humility is good for him lol
There ya go. A little humility can be the difference of having an entitled child and having a down-to-earth child. You’re doing the right thing. 👍💯🎯
I really like your beautiful blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and a very interesting blog. I will come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. See you soon. 🙂
Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot. And I’ll definitely visit your blog. <3
BTW, I tried to follow you and, for some reason, WordPress won’t let me. I’ll try again later to see if it’s only a temporary glitch. Again, thank you so much for your kind words! ❤
Good points ,way true
Thank you so much. 🙂