Down through the ages, either at school, the workplace, or the community, people have made excuses for the behavior of bullies and it can be downright sickening to targets of such evil acts. Often, the bully has gotten away with it for so long that they get too comfortable and no longer try to hide it. It leaves targets feeling not only a sense of injustice and resentment but downright furious! Unfortunately, this happens all the time, and it’s nothing new.
If you’re a target of such brutality and find yourself wondering why people make excuses for bullies, here are your answers below:
1. They’re afraid of becoming the next target. Nobody wants a bully on their back, so they make excuses for the bullies to protect themselves from being ostracized and to keep from arousing the bullies’ anger. These people often “don’t want to make waves” or “rock the boat.”
2. They’re loyal followers of the bullies. Many people are under the impression that being friends or followers of the bullies will give them status, popularity, favors, and most of all, protection. And in many cases, it does. But in others, the followers are only being used and will be quickly dismissed as soon as they’ve “served their purpose.”
3. They hate the target worse than they hate the bullies. They take the lesser of two evils route. If people hate the target worse than they do the bullies, they’re naturally going to side with the bullies and help demonize the target all for the satisfaction of seeing the victim suffer.
4. It’s expected of them. And people will often do what’s expected of them to do in an environment. Many times, the bullying of a particular individual has become the status quo in that specific environment, whether it be a school, workplace, or community. And no one wants to challenge that for fear of being marginalized and forced to join the target at the bottom of the heap.
5. They prefer to “cheer for the winning team.” Many people will side with the person who wields the most power. When people are on the side of the winners or ones with the most power, they get a share in being one of the big dogs. Many times, there’s a certain amount of social status and prestige that goes with rooting for a particular clique, team, or group who seems to be in charge and run the school, place of employment, or community.
6. They want to be a part of the in-crowd. (See number 5)
7. They think it will keep down the drama and allow some peace in that particular environment. Let’s face it. Bullying is stressful for bystanders and witnesses too. You don’t have to be a target for it to suck the energy out of you. All it takes for bullying to take the oxygen out of the room is for you to see it. So, people make excuses for the bully, often in their presence, to appease them and calm them down.
8. They’re bullies themselves. Birds of a feather flock together. People have a nose for and take care of their own.
9. For purposes of self-interest. The bullies benefit them somehow. If the bullies are stars on the school football team, star performers in a corporation, or successful business people in a community, they boost the image of that school, corporation, or district and often bring or attract money into the coffers of these entities.
The prevailing thought is this, “If someone makes me look good and is bringing in the money, I’d be a fool to do anything to jeopardize it!”
Also, in return for keeping their mouths shut or justifying their wrongdoings, bullies will often reward bystanders and witnesses with social status, perks, favors, and protection. Or the reward may be the feeling of importance in knowing that that they’re on the team that holds the most power and prestige.
10. They want to impress the bullies and be admired by them. Many people have a desire to run with the “cool crowd.” Therefore, they make excuses for them to impress them and win favor. They feel that if the bullies, who already have an overinflated sense of their own importance, think well of them too, then they must be hot items themselves. And it’s a huge self-esteem boost.
However, these people are only letting the approval of these bullies define who they are, which is dangerous. Because once the bullies decide they don’t need them anymore, it’s going to be devastating for them.
You must understand that there is a payoff in it somewhere. Human Nature dictates that none of us do anything unless it somehow, someway, appeals to our self-interests, even a little bit. If people are making excuses for bullies, you can be sure that those people are somehow benefiting from it, whether it be a psychological, social, or material gain.
0 thoughts on “10 Reasons Why People Make Excuses for Bullies”
Outstanding blog post
Please also visit my blog post please
Number 1 is so common. People are scared of bullies and will do anything so that thet arent the next target.
Absolutely it is! 🙂
In a work environment one of the women on another team was secretly targeting me in the office I complained to my manager and he would not do anything about her…why because her manager a subordinate to my manager was bullying him. Bullies often have a common feature many of them look like pigs facially.
Bahahaha! I’ve noticed that too! Maybe they’re jealous of people like you and me! 😀
This one is an important one. As you said and another of your readers said a lot of times people are afraid of being bullied themselves so they become a follower. If the lead bully allows them to hang on it actually offers them protection even though often times deep down that follower knows what is occurring is wrong. It is hard especially at a younger age to have the kind of maturity.
The other aspect is the herd mentality, being part of a clique. In middle school and high school cliques become common. Though bullying occurs in elementary school a lot of times you have the same classmates, puberty hasn’t hit yet etc so it isn’t quite as bad but once you get to those middle school years it becomes rough and very much so in high school. But you know cliques occur even in work places, etc.
Absolutely! Cliques occur everywhere, school, workplace, communities, even in retirement homes and the senior citizen age group. Cliques are just a part of life.
Even things like community clubs, many churches, etc. And unfortunately there is always someone that feels left out. Also you have a lot of places with that small town community clique. If you aren’t from there you basically are an outside from day one.
You got that right. That’s one of the reasons I was so terribly bullied. I’d been an Army brat and had moved there in the sixth grade. I was an out-of-stater, which equals outsider from day one.
And what is weird is it varies from town to town. Some towns they welcome new people to their community. These are just good hometown people and in some towns anyone new is the enemy. I find this to be the case a lot in more rural areas.
Absolutely! The place I got bullied in was a rural area.
Oh and I send you an email on a story regarding a celebrity being bullied, you might enjoy.
I’ll sure read it! Thank you so much! And I’m still working on your questions from the last email.