I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. I wanted to know everything there was to know about it- why people bully, what drove bullies to single out only certain people, what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affected different people, and what characteristics determined victimhood.
Instead of being traumatized from it, I wanted to learn from it. During the nineties, I poured through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims. I also poured through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.
During the late 90’s and 2000s, I took to my PC and poured through countless online articles and essays on the subject, beginning with Tim Field and bullyonline.org based in the UK. I remember emailing Tim Field with many questions on bullying and he always replied curiously and promptly. I learned so much from Tim Field.
I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well- celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life. I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise and being the encouragement I needed to learn more on the subject.
In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying- knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially. In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.
In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head and that I wasn’t overreacting or bringing it all on myself as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.
Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats to bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new. During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it, tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. That is also nothing new.
Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen and began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school to keep as a record in case the bullies at school hurt me so bad I’d need hospitalization or worse, murdered me.
I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade and never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home, and I never lost anything.
By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless horror stories of social aggression, psycho/emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.
I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying.” is now published and available.
With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it. Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past that you can’t do absolutely anything about, learn as much as you can about it and from every angle possible.
Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying and to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that doing this will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!
Nothing heals you like taking any adversity, learning from it, and using it as a weapon against potential bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!
0 thoughts on “Being Bullied in School Prompted Me to Learn More about Bullying and the Power Dynamic”
This wonderful blog helps me learn about the bullying I’ve endured, albeit a tad triggering.
I’m so glad it’s benefiting you, dear. 🙂
Knowledge is power. It is a shame that a lot of resources on bullying have only come in say the last 30 years or so. Bullying was never a rite of passage. I have a couple of thoughts. One I am a fan of Social Media, it can be used for good but people need to be careful who they follow. Don’t be afraid to unfollow or block or don’t accept people they don’t know and have no common interests. Two, and you hit on a big one with Mr.Fields. Prompt response. That is something irks me a lot. When I want information whether it is on Social Media, a text, a phone call, etc and I can’t get a fairly prompt response it makes me feel like others don’t care. Bullied people feel that way too. If they get bullied at school and need to talk to a teacher, administrator, guidance counselor often times they only get a few minutes with no real guidance or they are put off until the person has more time. When someone is going through Hell, they need help then not when it is convienent.
I agree with you and I’ve been there. I’ve been brushed off a few times when I reported bullying.
Also, when people email me. I do try to respond as quickly as I can. However, sometimes I do get questions that I have to.think about and that I have to work on (which involves looking up info) because I’m human and don’t have all the answers.
Oh I wasn’t talking about anyone in particular. I am just saying that in general those in positions of authority, experts, etc sometimes make people feel like the questions, the needs, sometimes even dangerous situations aren’t that important to them. For me if someone text,calls me, messages me, emails me I vow to always respond within 48 hours usually a lot sooner. I try to check up on people and let people know I care. For the bullied person they feel there is no hope out there and with the number of suicides etc that occur now I realize the need is great.
I understand. I was just making a general statement, honey. I hope this finds you well and in good spirits.
Enjoyed this post a good read and well informed. Schools to me seem to be a can of worms. One secondary school I went to our Form Mistress was bullied by the class students and a couple of the teachers. The teacher she was very kind and innovative in her ideas of teaching and they had been approved by the Head Mistress. The class did not appreciate they were being given a chance to broaden their thinking. They took advantage of her kindness.
Then when I moved to UK I was bullied by girls in college class they did not like Australians. Fortunately one of the teachers caught them and put a stop to their nonsense.
My son was bullied at school by students older than him when he was in the infant years and teachers in Primary and High School.
I noted that you said the teacher grabbed your records of abuse at school and did not return it. They must have feared they were in it. It is good to keep back ups.
You are providing a wealth of information people need. Bullying has been an ongoing form of behaviour for far too long.
My heart breaks for you, your son and anyone who’s ever been bullied. Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot! ❤
I’m so proud of you. You’re an inspiration! From victim to victor indeed💚💚💚
Thank you so much for your kind words! They mean a lot! 💞💞💞
My pleasure Cherie! 💚 Karla
That is really inspiring. 🖤
Thank you so much. 😀
Just stumbled on your blog and love how engaging and personal it felt. Words feel like they are talking to me!
Thank you so much! This means a lot! <3