It’s one of the most heartbreaking aspects of being bullied- enduring it for so long that you finally grow accustomed to it and resign yourself. Sadly, targets eventually grow numb because the bullying has gone on for so long that the attacks don’t even hurt anymore.
What happens it that you get so used to the torment that the more subtle attacks no longer sound cruel. Some people think that targets are better off when they no longer realize they’re being bullied. But are they really?
I don’t know. In some instances, yes, and in others, no. If you don’t react because you don’t know to, some bullies will get bored with the lack of response and leave you alone. But others will only bully you worse because either they know you didn’t catch it, or they get angry because you must be ignoring them.
Either way, there comes a point when the target just says, “F it!” and doesn’t care anymore. In order to survive and keep your sanity, sometimes it becomes a necessity not to give a damn.
That is very true many do but there lies the problem. You should never tolerate anyone disrespecting you which goes back to what you posted a day or two ago, sometimes you have to fight. Because if you start accepting it, you start believing it.
That’s right. And the reason why we seemingly grow accustomed to the bullying is often because we get exhausted from the fight after so long.
I stand guilty. But the thing was that I stopped caring and so the attacks (always verbal and disguised) stopped being attacks and became a simple illustration of my bully’s nasty side. It garnered me more support and took the wind out of her sails. Then again I was an adult and never let her determine my self worth or gave her power over my happiness.
Oh yes! It can do that too. When you stop reacting or you never react, it can backfire on your bullies. You did very well, Valerie. 😎
Guilty as charged. In a “Fight, flight or freeze” kind of way I chose freeze. Well, I didn’t, it just happened. But now there’s a fire burning inside me that reassures me if anyone tries to disrespect me again, they’ll be the worse off.
Took me about 10 years to build that fire, though :’)
You said that perfectly, Samantha. And you will freeze and it’s automatic. But as a survivor, you always build that fire over several years. Great comment and so true! Thank you so much for your thoughts. <3
You’re welcome. Thank you for this wonderful post.
You’re so welcome!
How very sad. I cannot even try to comprehend this is really happening. Yes, I hear about it all the time but struggle to accept it.
I understand where you’re coming from. If you haven’t experienced it, there’s no way you can comprehend it. And I’m so glad that you didn’t have to find out (If I’m wrong, please let me know). Wishing you many blessings, Lyn.
True
You get used to it. You allow it.
Exactly. And I believe that part of it comes from the exhaustion from fighting for your dignity for so long. Eventually, bullies will wear you down- especially the narcissistic types of bullies. You eventually grow weary and stop fighting.
Thank you for starting this kind of blog, the articles are helpful, they give insight of things. 👌
You’re so welcome! <3
That was written perfectly . You’ve captured the true reaction .thank you for this ❤
You’re so welcome! 😊
Trueeeeee 💖💖💖💖