I wonder if they’re the right person to bring into my life.
I wonder if we’ll have anything in common or if we’ll share any of the same hobbies.
I wonder what their attitude is and how their parents raised them.
I wonder about their mental health and outlook on life.
Are they an optimist or pessimist?
Are they ambitious?
Are they loving and caring?
Do they know who they are?
Do they know what they want and where they’re going?
Do they have their priorities in order?
Are they petty gossips, or are they the kind who don’t have time for such nonsense?
Do they love or loathe themselves?
Are their families decent, respectable, and upstanding people?
Do they have frequent run-ins with the law?
Do they have an alcohol or drug problem?
Oh yes! I take all of it into consideration when I meet someone. This is not to say that I judge them because I judge no one. However, I am particular of who I keep company with for reasons of safety and self-preservation.
For example, if you met someone, then found out later that they did time for rape, robbery, or murder, wouldn’t you be cautious of that person? Would you want them around you or your loved ones?
However, when I was young, I wondered if they were going to like me. I didn’t realize how unhealthy that is.
Understand that anytime you worry needlessly, whether others like you, you’re more likely to be so desperate for approval that you’ll take people at face value. And that’s not good because you’ll end up inviting the wrong kinds of people into your life!
I want you to realize that there’s a difference in judging people and being selective of the company you keep.
So, don’t be so quick to invite into your world everyone you meet.
Don’t judge, but do be selective!
Ohhh!! Why is this me??
I don’t understand the question, Gauri. What are you asking? 🙂
I wasn’t asking you….. I was asking myself… Why is this me?? Because it’s so relatable!!! You know ,I do this, I don’t judge though. Maybe because I was bullied at an age When you already have emotional struggles and so, I’m very selective when it comes to letting people enter my life!! Great post 👍
I hear you, Gauri. And my heart goes out to you and I thank you so much for your kindness. And know that what you feel when you meet a new person is normal after what you’ve gone through. Sending lots of warm thoughts your way! <3
That is one of the tragedies of being bullied growing up, many people become suspicious of people even nice people. Some of it is a defense mechanism, some of it is warranted, and yes sometimes people are dead wrong about others and have trouble with trust and taking people at face value and sometimes that means missing an opportunity to make a friend or meeting a good romantic partner.
True. However, it’s better to be selective of the people in your life. But select based on character- the way they act and carry themselves. If you observe long enough, you’ll know who the trouble makers are – who to avoid.
I am more wary of new people since I have had my children, as obviously I do not want any bad influences around them. However on the flip side, I find myself wanting to build a bigger social circle, particularly with other mothers in similar situations to me, to connect withand share stories and advice.
That’s understandable. Just watch how they act. And if someone gives you a feeling that something is off, listen to your gut!
This is what I do. I think over time we have to step back and make sure we aren’t allowing any B.S to enter in.
That’s it, girl! 🙂