Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room. It isn’t the trippings in the hallways nor having your books knocked out of your arms. Neither is it the name-calling nor the threats. It’s not the rumors, the lies, and smear campaigns, nor is it the setups to get you into trouble, the jokes or pranks.
It’s the cumulative sum of all factors:
It leaves the target feeling that he’s lost all control over his life and that he no longer has a say in what happens to him- it’s the feeling of having power over nothing!
Is it any wonder that in an attempt to snatch back control over something, anything, many targets soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than them?
Through their own victimization, targets learn that to keep from feeling so powerless, they must bully too. In bullying them, bullies unwittingly teach their targets how to bully.
We call these people bully-victims– people who are both bullies and are targets of other bullies. They bully to feel better about themselves and to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.
Nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.
Just as people are fighting like crazy to stay on top, others struggle to keep off the bottom. As it is quoted, “Sh¬** rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”
Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top.
Person B then bullies Person C, and so on.
And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom. Then, everyone bullies Person Z because Person Z is defenseless! There’s no one for Person Z to bully because he’s the one with the least power of all the others.
Anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless. And that person will likely be kept on the bottom because no one wants that position. Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever take Z’s place.
That’s how it works, folks!
As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.
However, must of the time, this doesn’t turn out good. Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off then pure bullies or pure victims.
Pure bullies are people who don’t get bullied by other people.
Bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies. And they bully far more than the pure bullies do because they have more to prove.
Bully victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims. They’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.
Bully-victims often resort to trickery and deceit. Many are pathological liars, cheats, fakes, and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest forms of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machs.
Understand that bully-victims need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to turn around and bully someone else.
But tell them lovingly and with patience because they’re badly hurting inside themselves and need someone to listen to them and gently guide them in the right direction.
0 thoughts on “When Bullied People Bully People”
It is a sad society that bullying causes unnecessary damages and trauma to others. Tough on the victims and even their families.
Absolutely, Abel! Tougher laws need to be put in place to fight it.
Laws are ultimately set by men. Those who are capable of doing so are unwilling and “making the world a better place” has become empty words. People like us who will one day completely overcome it and be there to help those in need.
You’re right about that! It’s sad that people in power won’t establish laws against bullying so yes, it’s up to people like you and me to make the difference.
Yes it is usually a cycle that needs to be broken
And please accept my sincerest apologies for not seeing this comment much sooner. WP has been sending a lot of legitimate comments to my spam folder lately and I didn’t think to check it. I’m truly sorry.
This is one of the great tragedies. In a world filled with cliques there seems to be a “social order.” Many time those bullied bully others because their mindset is being in the middle is better than the bottom. It is faulty thinking but most people don’t recognize that 95% of all people are actually average.
That’s it right there! 👍👍👍
The movie Christmas Story has a great example of the pure bully and bully-victim in a couple scenes.
What do you think about babies being a bully? As we experienced one when she was less than a year old!!!
Wow! Would you believe I haven’t seen “The Christmas Story?” I’ll need to watch this when the holidays arrive. And yes, babies can bully. Bullying knows no age group. Thank you so much for your input, Sheila! This is such valuable information and I appreciate that you brought up that babies can also bully. And they can bully other babies. Many people think it’s cute, but sadly, it can only encourage them to bully as they get older. Again, thank you so much for bringing this up. Wishing you a wonderful week ahead! 💖🌞🙂