If you are a target of bullying, you should beware if your bullies ever just up and all of a sudden, out of the blue, start being kind to you. Anytime bullies are up to something, they need you to let down your defenses. And how they get you to open up to them is to pour on the sweetness.
I want you to understand that if you see this sudden change in your bullies at school or in the workplace, they could be setting you up to be humiliated, to fail, to get in trouble with authority, or for a brutal physical attack.
Here are the signs:
1. A sudden change of heart – Nobody becomes a friend overnight. Friendship takes time because trust isn’t free; it’s earned. Trust needs a considerable amount of time to build. Just as you shouldn’t rush into a romantic relationship, neither should you rush into a friendship. If someone who usually is brutal toward you just up and begins treating you warmly, you’d better beat feet to the nearest exit- fast!
2. Flattery/Sweet-Talk – Bullies instinctively know that when a person is bullied over a certain amount of time, that person is more than likely hungry for any morsel of acceptance, approval, and kindness, and they take full advantage!
You’ll know that something is off because they’ll overdo the pleasantries. Bullies will use excessive flattery to get you to let your guard down and trust them. And man! Do they lay it on thick! If they’re so sickeningly sweet that you swear you’re getting a mouth full of cavities just listening to them, that’s your cue to find the door.
3. A fake smile – As one verse in the old song goes, a smile is only a frown turned upside down. If they smile with their mouths and not with their eyes, it’s time to end the conversation and get away from those creeps.
4. Microflashes – If you pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions, you’ll notice those tiny, split-second flashes of contempt on their faces when they think you aren’t looking or paying attention. Don’t ignore those. Bid them goodbye and politely leave.
5. Giggling or smirking among themselves after you turn and walk away – Dead giveaway! Give these idiots the boot!
6. They will get furious when you politely decline any invitations or requests – Again! Steer clear. It only goes to show that they don’t respect you as a person with feelings, boundaries, and human rights!
Also, it’s a sign that in their invitations or requests, they more than likely had plans for you that you don’t know about. Maybe they invited you to dinner or a party as a way to lure you to a possible set-up for something humiliating or dangerous? You never know. And if you don’t know, don’t go!
When it comes to bullies, always be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary or that doesn’t feel right to you because that’s usually your clue. Your gut will always give you the correct answer. Listen to it.
0 thoughts on “If a Bully or Someone Who Normally Mistreats You Starts Being Nice All of a Sudden, LOOK OUT!”
Its important to spot the signs or yo will be taken advantage of!
Absolutely, Niraj! Unfortunately, I didn’t know what those signs were when I was young and I had to learn them the hard way. Talk about time consuming!
Wow. You know so much about bullying, it blows my mind! I really hope someone being bullied at this point in their life would follow your advice. Heck, I wish I had seen your advice when I was being bullied in an old workplace!!
Honestly, I wish someone else had given me that advice back when I was young. Most of what I write, I had to learn the hard way. Trial and Error is time consuming.
Also, during the mid ’90s I began my reading, research and study on bullying when I came across a magazine article written by a parent whose son was being horribly bullied. When I read that article, everything suddenly fit together like a perfect puzzle and even better, I got confirmation that none of what happened to me wasn’t only in my imagination. This was one of the best things that happened to me. After reading that article, I began searching for more articles about bullying. I also searched for books on the subject. I read every source of material about bullying that I could get my hands on. I was HUNGRY for the knowlege!
You might be the voice that someone needs to hear at the right time. When they feel horribly isolated. And your research gives you so much to talk about.
Thank you so much, Sue. That’s what I always hope for, helping someone who suffers bullying today or in the future. I feel that this is my calling and why I was put here. I had to go through bullying in order to help future victims. I’ve been studying bullying for over twelve years. I also read about human nature and human psychology.
So true! Having experienced something similar, I would always put my guard up as soon as someone I knew was mean and rude would act nicely towards me. I always get this strange vibe from people who suddenly act different towards me and I end up distancing myself from them even more
It’s a good thing you distanced yourself from those people, Iqra! Your gut instinct is NEVER wrong! You probably saved yourself from a lot of trouble. I always told my children when they were growing up, to always follow their gut because your body always knows. Vibes NEVER lie!
That’s so true!! And what a great message you are teaching your children! Your blog posts really are very helpful
Thank you so much, Iqra. If you know anyone who’s being bullied, feel free to send them here. I’ll be glad to help them.
I forsure will 🤗
Thank you so much, Iqra!
One thing I forgot to add, there’s a part 2 to this post coming next in a few hours.
Ooh I shall be waiting
It should post in about three hours.
Any time SWMNBN was being nice or friendly I instinctively started looking for the knife.
You’re gut feeling is never wrong, Val. Anytime you get a creepy or bad vibe from someone, that’s when it’s time to find the nearest exit, girl! Vibes never lie!
This is a really strong and smart article. When someone has tormented you especially blatant bullying for an extended period of time and then all of a sudden they are super duper nice you are being set up for a fall. People can change but that occurs over time and experience for most. I think of the movie, Can’t Buy Me Love. The lead character Patrick Dempsey bought his way into the popular crowd and then when he got exploited they went back to their regular behavior. If something is real it occurs gradually over time. Hopefully people grow up.
Absolutely! Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. Experience is the best teacher, but it can also be a brutal and time consuming one.