Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, the pain only blunts our capacity to feel for others.
Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long; their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.
It’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you could care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.
I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade and as much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less.
Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, thirty years later, I’m sorry that happened to them, but at the time it happened, I had absolutely no feeling for the girls and even had the attitude that it had served them right and that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.
I had been a target of the class for so long I just did not have it in me to care.
After a person endures bullying for so long, he/she becomes cold and unfeeling toward other people if they aren’t careful, and it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.
If you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your empathy, your kindness, and your humanity. It won’t be easy, but there are ways to buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying and hold on to your sweetness.
It must have been so hard to go through so much bullying that you felt it took away your empathy. This post was very touching and you might have felt bad for not feeling anything towards those girls but the fact that you now realize why, it’s so amazing to read about your journey through all this.
It was extremely hard. At the time it was happening, I felt I had to focus on me and shut everything else out. I look back now and I definitely don’t like that I didn’t care. Two lives were lost. Yes, they were bullies, but they were still young human beings whose lives hadn’t even started yet. And what happened was a tragic waste of young life. I am repentant of the way I felt. But at the same time, I’m able to forgive myself because I know God has forgiven me. And I can talk openly about it. Thank you so, so much, Iqra! Your kindness is refreshing. ☺
It is so sweet to hear you reflect back on it. You are right God knows exactly what you are feeling and your true intentions and is, of course, all-forgiving. I graduated high school about 2 years ago, and I think had I gone through what you did, I would have felt the same. Your posts are really inspiring and I love reading them. Also thank you for the kindness remark it means a lot! 🤗💕
<3
Cherie great writing!
Here’s a different spin on this. Because of being bullied I feel it has allowed me to feel greater empathy towards others. I somehow I always cheer for the underdog.
It just might be that I do that because most of my time at home under my father’s roof that I felt like the underdog. I always felt like the thing you hate the most to step on it.
Just a thought Cherie, maybe I am the odd one in the bunch.
You’re not at all. I’m the same way today. I always cheer for the underdog and I don’t feel the same way I felt back then. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve mellowed out and gained compassion for my fellow man. Hope you had a great day, Dwain.
Thank you Cherie!
Have a great blessed day!
Stay safe!
And you as well, Dwain! 🙂