Bullies never select targets at random. They always pick a possible target and size them up before they choose them.
Just as bank robbers will case a potential bank before they rob the place, bullies case (size up) any potential targets.
During the sizing up phase, bullies study their objects carefully to ferret out any weaknesses and imperfections, look for incongruencies between verbal and nonverbal communication (mismatches in words and gestures) and scan for any traces of fear.
You’ll know you’re being sized up for bullying when the person watches you closely while looking you up and down. Their eyes will go from your head to your feet, then back up to your head, and you’ll get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach. You’ll feel that something ‘just isn’t right’ about this person. Trust those feelings and get rid of them! Fast!
Another sure-fire sign is that the bully will test you by throwing out a subtle insult or use sarcasm to see whether you catch it and what your reaction will be. If you quickly pick up on it and take control of the situation by calling the bully out or countering him/her by coming back with a cute, but scathing zinger of your own, you’ll stop the bully in their tracks, and they’ll likely decide you are worth the trouble, then move on to an easier target.
On the other hand, if their test remark goes over your head, you ignore the comment or react out of fear, you’ll likely become the bully’s new victim.
Always put a stop to it the first time it happens.
This can be as easy as saying, “I know what you’re doing and I don’t like it! Now get lost!”
Never let the mistreatment become a habit or pattern! Because once a pattern is set, it’ll be too late and any comebacks or means of defense will only bring retaliation and escalation of the bullying.
If you are being sized up by a bully, shut it down! Do or say something that will discourage the bully, then have no more to do with the creep.
The more you know, the better you protect yourself!
0 thoughts on “How Bullies Size Up Potential Targets”
This was how Rachel Burgio began her bullying campaign. She’d ask questions that she knew I was uncomfortable answering and I would tell her “I’d rather not say”, but she persisted, until I gave in. Then she would gossip and tell people I was a “psycho slut from hell”…and it went from there.
No means no when someone presses you for intimate details about your life. If they persist just scream “NO”! and run away!
Cherie, information like the subject you write about would have been available, maybe my school years would have been different
Absolutely! The same here! I have no doubt my school years would’ve been different too! 👍