Are you ready for this? Here goes: You do it by being yourself, by setting boundaries and by speaking and standing in your truth. I’ll explain deeper.
Be Yourself. Too many people put on fake personas for friendship and approval. What they don’t realize is that most of their friends aren’t really for them, they only act like they are and can reak lots of havoc in their lives if they aren’t careful! I want you to realize that like attracts like.
When you’re fake, you only attract more like-minded people into your world- fakes, fraudsters, and imposters! But understand that when you start being yourself, these people will naturally be repelled because they won’t like it.
Being real has a way of intimidating and threatening the fake. It strikes fear in them because a person who’s for real has a chance of exposing all who are fake. Is it any wonder that fake people either stay away from or bully those who are real? It’s because realness scares them to death!
Set Boundaries. This is a biggie! Setting boundaries is not easy. It can be frightening sometimes, especially when someone pushes you too far, and the situation calls for you to put on your bitch-face and show your booty to people. But don’t worry about what others will think of it or say about it.
Boundaries always expose the fakes. Always! When you start setting boundaries, watch how people react! You’ll be amazed at how many people get angry and upset! You will automatically see their evil sides as they immediately turn against you, trying to lay guilt trips on you or smearing you to others.
But understand that anyone who gets angry at you for having boundaries only does so because they’ve benefited all this time from you not having any. Do you think they want those benefits to stop?
Don’t be afraid to let these people go because they never were your friends and therefore don’t belong in your life. Your real friends, on the other hand, will be happy for you and will cheer you on because they will want what’s best for you and to see you happy.
Speak and Stand in Your Truth. When you begin freely speaking out about past abuse and bullying, you can bet that you’ll make a lot of people angry. You’ll make bitter enemies not only of the people who wronged you in the past but also of those who stood by and watched it happen but fail to stop it.
Even if you don’t use their names and choose not to identify them, it won’t matter. Understand that any abuse thrives on silence. Abusers and most bystanders don’t want you talking about it at all!
They are sometimes those we call friends. Abusers can’t chance being exposed and seen by others in a negative light and they’ll go to great lengths to shut you down.
But again. This is how you weed out all the fakes and expose people for who they are. Deep-six these people. Fast!
Understand that for a garden to not only grow but flourish, you must get rid of all the weeds. It’s the same with the people in our lives. If we are surrounded by users, abusers, and people who only stifle us, we have no chance of growth and advancement.
But when you remove all the junk, you make room for a better quality of people to come into your life. Do these three things, to expose and get rid of the weeds.
You’ll be surprised at how it changes your life and the quality of friends who come into your life!
0 thoughts on “3 Things You Must Do to Find Out Who Your Friends Are”
Cherie I totally agree!
Fake friends and yes, even some in the family.
One thing you didn’t touch was rainy day friends. They are with when everything is “sunshine, lollipops, and rainbows”. Let a tough time hit and they are no where to found.
Exactly! And that hurts too. Nine times out of ten, they’re people you’d never expect!
That’s for sure!
I suppose real friendship is when one is young. It’s just like real love. Older we get, we get more and more, selfish and self-centered. I am yet to see a friend, at my age, to be internally happy, for what I have achieved. It is always a fake pretension.
Older people do have baggage, don’t get me wrong. But in my experience, I’ve gained some wonderful friends. They’re happy people and don’t allow drama! Now I can hang with these ladies! Love them to pieces and will do anything for them.
But the thing about older people, and I’m one of them, we don’t take any crap and can’t have nonsense around us. We had enough of that when we were young! LOL
Yes, there is no denying, and I firmly believe, that good people exist. In fact, I believe that people better than me exist. But their numbers are very less, and one has to be fortunate enough to get to know them. I suppose you are lucky in this regard.
Thank you so much! I appreciate that! 🙂
Thanks for these tips! I find it easy(ish) to be real but very hard to set boundaries. I always justify others’ behaviours away.
I used to be the same way, Sadie. Always justifying the terrible behavior of others. But not anymore. Once I got fed up and set boundaries, I started getting more respect and better people started coming into my life. And once you’re used to getting treated well, you won’t let yourself go back to bullshit. Because you can see the bad treatment for what it is.
I so hope to get to that point. I have a very low tolerance for conflict or tension — I’ve always put keeping the peace over setting boundaries. And my mind plays tricks on me — maybe I’m overreacting, maybe I’m being too hard on them…
No sweetie! It’s because you’ve been conditioned to accept bad behavior from people. ‘You see?When we’ve been treated horribly for so long, we tend to get exhausted and lose our will to fight back.
ooooh that’s a powerful insight — thank you so much for these kind comments
You’re welcome! Please don’t stay a victim. You deserve so much better! 💓
Thank you Cherie!!!
You’re so welcome, Sadie!
And please accept my sincerest apologies for not seeing this comment much sooner. WP has been sending a lot of legitimate comments to my spam folder lately and I didn’t think to check it. I’m truly sorry.