Bullies will stop bullying when you take away their power. But…how do you take away their power? You do it when you simply stop giving a damn what people think or what they say.
However, getting to the point of not caring takes several realizations. It takes understanding what it is that is behind the bullying and accepting that some people just don’t matter and are not meant for you.
Hey. I know it’s easier said than done. We all want to be liked and approved of by others. To be accepted and a part of a group is a natural human need. However, some people are just no good for us. Toxic people do not deserve to be in your life and bullies are toxic people. So why should their opinions matter?
When I finally stopped giving a crap what other people thought, that’s when people stopped bullying me. When their words and tricks no longer had any effect on me and the way I saw myself, it took the wind out of the bullies’ sails. They soon left me alone and moved on to someone else and my life skyrocketed!
You must realize that there will always be those with something negative to say. Understand that everyone- EVERYONE gets talked about, not just you. Accept the fact that not everyone will like you and be okay with it. People are going to talk about you until the day you die, and even beyond. It’s just a part of life.
But know this, it says more about their own issues, not yours. I not only accept that people will talk about me, I embrace it! There are positive ways of looking at it ( https://authorcheriewhite.com/2019/08/11/when-bullies-talk-bad-about-you-positive-ways-of-looking-at-it/ ).
You see, bullies love to brainwash you into thinking you need their approval. You don’t! I want you to realize that brainwashing someone and making that person believe that he/she is nothing without their approval is where bullies draw their power! They get their power from you!
I know this is hard to hear, but it’s the truth. Years ago, my bullies did the same to me, I hate to admit. They had me believing that I was nothing without their seal of approval, that everything was my fault, that I’d brought all the mistreatment on myself and that if I would just do XYZ or change something about myself that they deemed undesirable, the harassment would stop.
Trust me. Because I didn’t know any better, I tried that many times and the bullying never stopped but got worse!
The truth is that I was always enough, and my value never depreciated. I never needed those morons nor their approval. Seriously! Who were they to begin with? They were nobody special, I can tell you that!
So, never change who you are to appease someone else! It will only make you a bigger target because others will then see you as a people pleaser! A suck up! A boot-licker!
And once you’re seen as such, everyone will come from everywhere to take advantage of you because they will have zero respect for you! Believe it or not, when someone is a yes-person, word of it does spread! Like a brushfire!
But to get to the point where you could absolutely care less about how they see you, you must first realize that the bullies’ so-called coolness and badassery are just an illusion! Understand that bullies are not what they would have you believe. They’re not so tough. They aren’t the baddest mothers in the land. They’re only good at keeping up appearances and fooling others.
Once you ferret out your bullies’ weaknesses and see that they really aren’t all that, you will have a confidence you never thought possible. You will easily be able to blow them off with a “whatever” and nine times out of ten, they’ll move on to someone else because bullies can’t thrive without a victim.
Take the victim out of the equation and they have nothing. Remove yourself from the equation and you have everything! You can only do this when you stop caring what others think of you or say about you.
Reclaim your power and watch your life become more rewarding than you ever imagined!