Good morning, everyone. I hope you all have had a wonderful week. Today, I will use my twenty-fifth reunion as an example of how school bullies can go on to become bullying adults.
Last year, I went to my twenty-fifth class reunion and got to reconnect with about thirty classmates, most of whom either bullied or sold me out at some point or another during school. Although some of them have evolved and were very kind people, there were others who still, after all these years, hold resentment and contempt.
Although, they never expressed it with the spoken word, for fear of looking bad in front of the other classmates, I could see it in their eyes when they looked my way and in their facial expressions and body language. And one woman even threw a very subtle dig while sitting beside me, to my right, during a class meeting just a month prior to the reunion. A dig to which I only responded with a smile and actually got a genuine hug from another classmate.
I didn’t fire back at her because I decided that this woman wasn’t even worth the energy. I just very gracefully blew her off because it was only further proof that in this world, there are quite a few 40+ year-old prepubescents walking around. Age does not equal maturity.
I now take great pride in myself for responding to such immaturity with class and I had an awesome time at the reunion. I never let the immature actions of a few bad apples spoil it. I continued to be my authentic and awesome self. I socialized and danced! I let my hair down and let myself shine! Ultimately, I ended up having a wonderful time and being very glad I went!
The point to my reunion story is this: All through life, you will encounter scores of ignorant people and I feel it incumbent upon me to prepare you for this. While you’re still young, you must learn now how to let the ignorance of a few narrow-minded people roll off your back or you will be in for a very difficult life ahead.
In life, there will always be those very few who will never approve of you. But always know this: it is THEIR issue, not yours. It is up to you to love yourself in spite of the infantile actions of a few morons. Always put yourself first. You are beautiful, awesome, smart, strong and worthy of love and friendship!
Have a wonderful Friday!
That’s not always the case. I knew a few kids back in middle school who didn’t necessarily bully me physically, but verbally instead, and belittled me and made fun of me back in the mid 90s. Years and years later, I later crossed paths with some of them on Facebook, and some of them changed their ways and became nicer people and even became friends with me, both on Facebook AND in real life.
You’re right, Michael. Some bullies do evolve and become better people. I even have a few former school bullies who are now the best of friends and awesome people. However, most of the narcissistic types of bullies I dealt with are still the same ignorant bunch they were in high school. I just refuse to let those types in my life. With a narcissist, he/she is always right and everyone else is always wrong. Also, narcissists get very angry and offended when their victims stand up to them and call them out on inappropriate behavior. Not all bullies reform.
Exactly. Sometimes it is a case of immaturity or they don’t realize what they are doing hurts so much. That can happen, but more often than not a true bully knows what they are doing. Some grow up eventually but there are plenty who don’t. Anyone who still carried a grudge 20,30 years later definitely was/is a bully.
Absolutely, Brenda. Also, people don’t stop and think that the hate they carry around doesn’t hurt the other person, it hurts them. We are required to forgive not to let the other person off the hook, but to free ourselves from the toxicity that grudges only bring to our own lives. Hope your weekend was an awesome one.
I agree 100%! I went to my 30th reunion, and one of the bullies who hated me for no reason since second grade gave me a sour look and ignored me. I made her say hello to me and I could tell that she was unhappy about it. I recently spoke to one of her friends who told me that as an adult she is a very sour person, and called her on it when she noticed that she would not say hello to a group of girls at this same reunion. She told her to grow up! She was also friends with another girl who bullied me for years and also never grew up. She ended up bullying this friend over a guy as an adult. She is incredibly angry and messed up and is a very unhappy person. It made me feel so much better when she told me about these ‘girls.’ Sorry to say it, but I love karma! Now I can move on.
Wow, Tara! There are really no words for these kind of people. They are to be pitied because it takes a very unhappy person to act like this and this woman is in her late forties, which proves the saying, “There’s no fool like an OLD fool.”. And you don’t have to apologize, dear. I love Karma too. It’s quite amusing when a bully, who never grew up finally gets their karma.