Good morning everyone. Today, I will discuss more of how bullies operate and why you should never attempt to change in order to appease them.
If you’re a target of bullying, I must warn you that no matter what you do, good or bad, it will never be right by a bully. Even if you were to save someone’s life, it still would not be good enough for your classmates and they will find some way…any way to poop on it.
Any good that you do, any accomplishments you make and any successes that you have will be minimized; while any mistakes and bad qualities will be maximized. I want you, as a tween or teen to realize that this is how bullies operate. They trivialize your positive qualities and magnify your negative qualities. This is the modus operandi of a bully.
Here is an excerpt of my book, From Victim to Victor, which explains it more plainly:
“…if I had hung around people of my own race, I would be hanging with ‘skanks’, for lack of a better term, and would have been considered one myself. If I befriended those of the African American race, I was considered an n-lover. If I dated a grown man (which I did), I was considered an opportunist or gold-digger. If I had dated a guy of my own age group, they would have conjured up something else negative to say. If I wore a dress and went to school all dolled up (which I did often in high school), I was trying to either impress the opposite sex or get a date and/or laid. If I wore my jeans the slightest bit tight, I looked like a whore. If I cried, I was being too sensitive. If I laughed, I was trying to get attention. If I got angry, I was crazy. If I was being friendly, I was either flirting or trying to kiss ass. I was not allowed to be myself and it was exhausting….”
The last thing that bullies want is to see you happy. If there is anything a bully hates, it is to watch you being happy, successful, etc. and they will pull out all the stops necessary to either minimize or destroy the accomplishments and happiness that you enjoy.
Know that you did nothing wrong. The problem lies with the bullies, NOT YOU! That’s why you should avoid these toxic people like the plague. You owe it to yourself to give these leaches to your happiness and success the old heave-ho if possible, and to stay your true, awesome self. You are worth fighting for!
Have an awesome week, everyone!
This is so true. Here is the thing. Popularity is largely an illusion anyway. Most people are followers by nature and if one of the “cool” kids decides you are in, you are popular because the other followers will never question it. If one of the “cool” kids decides to bully then others follow suit. I know it sounds ridiculous but it is how it works. It is highly possible for you to go to one school and be the king or queen of the school or with the “in” crowd and then be treated the exact opposite at another school. Ultimately you have to be kind to others and be the best person you can be. Never lose who you are.
You said it right there, Brenda. And I love that you mentioned that you can go to one school and be royalty and then go to another school and be treated the opposite. Because that’s exactly what happened to me. From sixth grade until I transferred during my senior year, I was bullied so mercilessly. But once I transferred to a different school, I had friends, was well respected and was included by everyone…even had the opportunity to join a few clubs! My new school was like a totally different world from my old school. Thank you so much for commenting.