Good morning, everyone. Today, I would like to discuss the confusion, which targets of bullying often face…the confusion of whether or not they are legitimately being bullied or only being paranoid.
Oftentimes, when an individual is bullied and they defend themselves, others may either trivialize the bullying or dismiss it, by telling the victim that “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being paranoid”. Therefore, the bully is let off the hook and is free to target the same individual again in the future. The bully gets the message loud and clear that it’s okay to target this person simply because they CAN…and with impunity. Whereas, after so long, the victim begins to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and/or stand up to bullies. The victim then questions their own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.” and often grows silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “paranoid”, “crazy”, “overly sensitive” or other labels that undermine his/her sanity.
Let me enlighten you: It’s not only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby, crazy or whatever else unsavory people may call you.
Always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you and talk through their teeth. You can hear the short and cold tone in their voices. You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people pronto!
Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve your friendship. It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! WEED. THEM. OUT! They are not worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological.
Self awareness is key. You must get to know yourself. It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.
Wishing each and every one of you a very blessed week!
0 thoughts on “It’s Not Only In Your Mind. You Know When Something Does Not Feel Good.”
Over the years I have counseled many people who were the victims of bullying in one form or another. One unusual one was a Chinese American woman who worked in a library. She was so efficient that the other workers targeted her. Even the toughest black woman will be psychologically gutted given enough time and persistence on the part of the abuser. It takes about six months for a person to recover once they are free of the bullying. Then there are episodes of flashbacks that can occur for many years. Of course, the person’s joy has been warped into fear during this time and they have to recover their personal power and emotional management skills.